Weekend

Visited Quinn and family this Saturday.  I love how she makes me feel with her giggles and smiles.

My own mother, who I am not close to physically or emotionally is having some medical problems.  She won't live closer to any of us (or with us), because she prefers Texas and being near her sister and brother.  Which makes it hard, when my aunt contacted one of my three siblings to tell him that he needs to "come and stay with your mother and take care of her".  He lives in Georgia and is working on a degree.  I have two sisters - one in Kansas, one in Florida, and I am in Pennsylvania.  We all work and/or go to school and I am sure they are as busy as I am.

Although I am an RN, my mom doesn't like to discuss her "personal" medical needs.  That includes medications.  She doesn't want me knowing her "business".  So, I had to be sneaky, telling my brother what questions to ask, etc.  For whatever reason, she feels he will be more knowledgeable about all things medical, although that isn't really his area of training.  Well, it only took a few minutes for him to discover an alarming amount of medications that interact with each other, that she is taking, prescribed by different doctors (he was emailing me as he looked into things).  So now she has an appointment this week to visit one doctor with all her medications.  I think a good medical workup and review of her medications will help alot.  We are also looking into caregivers who can be there more than the 3 days a week she now has someone come in.  In a perfect world, we would all be closer, geographically at least, and able to take a more hands on approach.  We handled things, and will continue to, as best we can.

On a more cheerful note, here is my grandbaby, yesterday:  My extended family may not be close, but, I hope my immediate family and I will always be.

Easter Bunny!

Some pictures just say it all.  Here is my granddaughter with her first Easter picture.

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Easter weekend

Finished reading Already Home by Susan Mallery last night.  Highly recommend for a good read.  I discovered Susan's books when I started reading the Fool's Gold series.  Family, self doubt, insecurity, love, redemption, it has all of those and a good group of characters.

The world goes on

It's been a tough week, but, holding my little grandbaby in my arms this afternoon really picked up my spirits.  Something about the warm, wiggly body in my arms and the big toothless grin just makes me feel better.  Well worth the two hour round trip.  Love that little girl!
There is something about a child that makes you believe the world will go on!

Death, funerals, and really living your life

This has been a hard, exhausting week.  One of my son-in-laws lost his mother, and I lost a friend.  We weren't BFF, but, we were nice to each other, shared occasional family meals and valued each other's adult child.  Her son is also my son.  My daughter was also her daughter.  So, this week, we all lost a family member.  As I wept at her funeral, it wasn't just that she had died so quickly following a cancer diagnosis.  I wept as we remembered a life well lived.  I wept realizing how much she had treasured her children and her grandchildren.  I wept as her husband of over 30 years gave the moving eulogy of his history with her.  There was admiration, love and respect in his words.  There was the memory of laughter.  There was the pride in a a wife who did so much and meant so much to so many people.  The viewing had been crowded.  The church, on a workday was full.  The funeral procession was long.  In sixty short years, this strong willed (and very stubborn) woman had left her mark.  She had survived so many things, had many losses and disappointments.  But, she had still lived her life with dignity, love and generosity.  People remembered her cooking and hospitality.  Everyone remembered her warmth.
I remembered her worry, when our two (now grown and married) teenage children had been becoming "too serious" at 19.   It was an unbelievably uncomfortable telephone conversation, as she worried out loud to me about where their relationship was "going" (yes, she meant sex).   How she had supported their love as it had grown and matured.  How joyful she was at the wedding reception when they married, after they had both finished college, found their niches in life and known that they were ready to be together forever.

I think, today, sad as we all are,  now that the funeral is over, and somehow the sun has come out, that joy in living and loving must be remembered. 
I will try to be there for him, my friend.  Not the mother you were for him, I know.  But, I will encourage and support and love him, since you have moved to another place, and can't be here to do it.  I will be his mother as much as I can and he will be my son, in my heart.
Rest in peace, for the groundwork, the foundation you have left behind, from a well lived life, will support us all as we learn how much we will all miss you.

Back from babysitting

Back yesterday from watching my granddaughter, while her other gram was on a trip.  I give her other grandmother alot of credit - Quinn's fun, but she keeps you busy.
The playroom I'm working on is for her.
She is teething right now, but except for the brief fussiness she's pretty pleasant about the whole thing!
When she looks at me, I feel the most intense love.  Who would have thought being her grammy would be so great!