The Journey

I'm not a philosopher, but, hitting "middle age", seems to have steered me in that direction. I've always had a "don't ask, don't tell" philosophy about my age.
I've been married a really long time, yet, the journey is better each year. Not that we're perfect, or always agree. But, we need to be there for each other in a way that once was missing. We were so independent, that, we didn't realize that as a team we function even better. It took illness and crisis to realize that. I love him, yet love is such a simple word for such a complicated emotion.
Parenthood is forever. I always knew that, in my heart. I wanted to be the parent I never had - there, but, supportive, not clingy or demanding. I think I've done that, to the best of my ability. I enjoy seeing my girls reach and grow, trying their wings, open to new possibilities. If I'd had that kind of curiosity and bravery.... I can't imagine. But, the thing that makes me proudest is their empathy and compassion. The way they maintain friendships throughout the changes in life. The value they place on family. The way they deal with life and the disappointments that lead us to different paths.
I know I won't live forever, so I'm trying to cut the clutter in life, just as I am trying to cut the clutter in my home. I think I've realized that alot of the clutter was to fill in the empty parts of me. But, as those parts fill with the joy of family, the love for my mate, the pleasure of creating a home that reflects me, I think the clutter will be less (hope so anyway!).
I'm not a neat person in the way of alot of people. I pile things. I stack the books I plan to read next, on the floor by my bed. But, if I know where things are, does that make it messy? Stay tuned.
Well, I have a baby doll to finish for Rivkah and me. I procrastinate!! Pictures to follow.
Cindi