Friday, February 6, 2009

This Winter Week

As winter weeks go, this one was too cold, too stressful and thankfully is over (at least the work week part). Tonight I'll stay warm with my husband, watch some TV and eat pizza.
Tomorrow between loads of laundry, vacuuming, etc. I want to work on my Becky/Rivkah doll. Her chubby arms and legs are sweet, the body is sewn............
Today I was thanked by someone for explaining her mother's medical condition to her. It wasn't happy knowledge for her, but, she found it reassuring to know what kinds of changes to expect, over the next few weeks. I'm not saying she thanked me politely after the explanation. Rather, a couple hours later, she tracked me down to my office, to personally thank me for helping her understand, for taking the time to help her understand. It's something I've done with other family members over the years, but, it never fails to remind me why I go to work every day, when I actually make a difference for someone. I guess we all need to remember to thank people for the extra time and effort they take. I know it warmed me, in my heart, where it really counts. I don't expect more than the occasional polite thanks. Almost always, it is a stressful time, financially, emotionally for the people looking for answers - and a little kindness. I still have the thank you notes I received when I worked hospice. They remind me that educating, explaining, explaining over again, is part of what I'm needed for. Sure, the other things I do are important, and necessary, or they wouldn't pay me to do my job. But, the other is what keeps me in nursing - the people part.
Well, that was the philosophical tangent for today!
Wish me luck, tomorrow as I attach those chubby little doll legs to the body, using a technique I've never tried!

Monday, February 2, 2009

How cool is this?

The Journey

I'm not a philosopher, but, hitting "middle age", seems to have steered me in that direction. I've always had a "don't ask, don't tell" philosophy about my age.
I've been married a really long time, yet, the journey is better each year. Not that we're perfect, or always agree. But, we need to be there for each other in a way that once was missing. We were so independent, that, we didn't realize that as a team we function even better. It took illness and crisis to realize that. I love him, yet love is such a simple word for such a complicated emotion.
Parenthood is forever. I always knew that, in my heart. I wanted to be the parent I never had - there, but, supportive, not clingy or demanding. I think I've done that, to the best of my ability. I enjoy seeing my girls reach and grow, trying their wings, open to new possibilities. If I'd had that kind of curiosity and bravery.... I can't imagine. But, the thing that makes me proudest is their empathy and compassion. The way they maintain friendships throughout the changes in life. The value they place on family. The way they deal with life and the disappointments that lead us to different paths.
I know I won't live forever, so I'm trying to cut the clutter in life, just as I am trying to cut the clutter in my home. I think I've realized that alot of the clutter was to fill in the empty parts of me. But, as those parts fill with the joy of family, the love for my mate, the pleasure of creating a home that reflects me, I think the clutter will be less (hope so anyway!).
I'm not a neat person in the way of alot of people. I pile things. I stack the books I plan to read next, on the floor by my bed. But, if I know where things are, does that make it messy? Stay tuned.
Well, I have a baby doll to finish for Rivkah and me. I procrastinate!! Pictures to follow.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Okay, I confess - I'm hating winter this year. I hate being cold, feel less productive and am grateful that I have a short commute to work. Sigh.
But, spring will come.
I realized it's been forever since updating my blog. I am trying to find balance in my life. My mission statement as of right now is "enjoy the journey".
Had lunch with my eldest two, today. Hard to believe they both are college grads, now, with husbands and demanding careers. We even went shopping for the "baby momma" of my nephew (their cousin). We haven't met her yet, but, are going to a baby shower for her the 15th. We stuck to the registry except for some adorable onesies that Miranda couldn't put down. After all, this little girl (yes, they know and announced the sex already) will be family, even if this young couple doesn't make a go of it. They aren't married, but, it would be nice if they seemed committed at least. Parenthood is so BIG.
Anyway, enough!
My youngest is now in her second of semester of college, and I am struck all the time by how smart she is. I admire the way she devours the classics, not because she has to, but, she really likes them. She voted in her first election, too.
My middle daughter even made it to the inauguration with her husband and brother-in-law! I was moved by our president's speech and loved the music (taped or not!).
Well, I natter on enough.
Balance and joy in the journey. Good goals for this year.